The Miracle Year
A return to your free-spirited self.
The asshat abhors Lesson 324. (Note: Pam Grout refers to the ego as the chatty asshat)
"Like hell I will," it responds to all suggestions that it step aside and let The One Who Knows lead the way. It pitches a fit at the slightest hint at the Dude (the U) chomping at the bits to get involved in my life, to connect with me, to provide me with guidance.
The ego is very protective of that job. It lives to plan. To work things out. The ego comes up with a finite plan, a restricted process to getting from point A to point B.
It doesn't have a clue.
Here's an example. The ego wants to win the lottery. There's nothing wrong with winning the lottery, but that's a finite way to achieve abundance. The Universe is freaking infinite. It knows three bazillion ways to achieve abundance. So planning to win the lottery gives the Universe a grand total of one option.
Today, as I merely follow and not lead, I allow the Universe to haggle with the details.
-- Pam Grout - A Course In Miracles Experiment
For a long time, my mind was the only place I felt safe.
I was good at being in my head. Really good. In primary school the teacher would make me sit with my arms crossed for 30 minutes at a time, after having finished the math assignment for the day. Otherwise I would advance too fast.
At a job interview for a management traineeship with KLM I scored top 2% out of all the college level candidates in an IQ test.
And still — underneath all of it — something hummed in the background.
I don't get to have what I want. Nobody wants me.
Like the theme music of my life that never quite stopped playing.
I tried everything to turn it off. Therapy. Breathwork. Manifestation. Law of attraction. Hypnotherapy. All of it from the same place — my intellect choosing it, directing it, evaluating whether it was working.
Which meant the ego was still running the show. Just in slightly more spiritual clothing. And very adept at explaining my patterns and the reasons why.
The control never actually loosened. Because any time something felt out of my hands — the mind took over. Ruminating. What-iffing. Forcing the how. Negotiating with myself.
It was exhausting.
And the cruelest part? The things I wanted most — to be truly seen, to receive, to feel real intimacy and connection — those terrified me more than anything I was trying to escape.
I was hiding. Even from the life I was trying to build.
I'm telling you this because I know that's why you're here.
I'm telling you this because I know that's why you're here. You've tried so many things. And all of it came from the same place mine did.
There's another way.
The Miracle Year
A return to your free-spirited self.
The asshat abhors Lesson 324. (Note: Pam Grout refers to the ego as the chatty asshat)
"Like hell I will," it responds to all suggestions that it step aside and let The One Who Knows lead the way. It pitches a fit at the slightest hint at the Dude (the U) chomping at the bits to get involved in my life, to connect with me, to provide me with guidance.
The ego is very protective of that job. It lives to plan. To work things out. The ego comes up with a finite plan, a restricted process to getting from point A to point B.
It doesn't have a clue.
Here's an example. The ego wants to win the lottery. There's nothing wrong with winning the lottery, but that's a finite way to achieve abundance. The Universe is freaking infinite. It knows three bazillion ways to achieve abundance. So planning to win the lottery gives the Universe a grand total of one option.
Today, as I merely follow and not lead, I allow the Universe to haggle with the details.
-- Pam Grout - A Course In Miracles Experiment
For a long time, my mind was the only place I felt safe.
I was good at being in my head. Really good. In primary school the teacher would make me sit with my arms crossed for 30 minutes at a time, after having finished the math assignment for the day. Otherwise I would advance too fast.
At a job interview for a management traineeship with KLM I scored top 2% out of all the college level candidates in an IQ test.
And still — underneath all of it — something hummed in the background.
I don't get to have what I want. Nobody wants me.
Like the theme music of my life that never quite stopped playing.
I tried everything to turn it off. Therapy. Breathwork. Manifestation. Law of attraction. Hypnotherapy. All of it from the same place — my intellect choosing it, directing it, evaluating whether it was working.
Which meant the ego was still running the show. Just in slightly more spiritual clothing. And very adept at explaining my patterns and the reasons why.
The control never actually loosened. Because any time something felt out of my hands — the mind took over. Ruminating. What-iffing. Forcing the how. Negotiating with myself.
It was exhausting.
And the cruelest part? The things I wanted most — to be truly seen, to receive, to feel real intimacy and connection — those terrified me more than anything I was trying to escape.
I was hiding. Even from the life I was trying to build.
I'm telling you this because I know that's why you're here.
I'm telling you this because I know that's why you're here. You've tried so many things. And all of it came from the same place mine did.
There's another way.
Here's the paradox that changes everything:
Your free-spirited self already trusts. She already knows how to let go. She already feels safe in the out of your hands.
She's been there the whole time — underneath the identity that formed around the U-Moment a long time ago.
The Miracle Year is a return to her. And that return happens in the moments the intellect cannot reach. The Miracle Year is a return to her. And that return happens in the moments the intellect cannot reach.
Those moments are easier to stay in when someone who knows your loop is right there with you.
Here's the paradox that changes everything:
Your free-spirited self already trusts. She already knows how to let go. She already feels safe in the out of your hands.
She's been there the whole time — underneath the identity that formed around the U-Moment a long time ago.
The Miracle Year is a return to her. And that return happens in the moments the intellect cannot reach. The Miracle Year is a return to her. And that return happens in the moments the intellect cannot reach.
Those moments are easier to stay in when someone who knows your loop is right there with you.
What The Miracle Year Actually Is
In the beginning it can feel confusing.
That's why we take it slow.
Gradually you start noticing how the intellectual control shows up — in everything. The way you approach a decision. The way you lie awake. The way you reach for certainty before you'll let yourself move.
At first that's frustrating. Because seeing the pattern and stepping out of it are two completely different things.
And then the glimpses start coming.
One woman wrote in our group recently:
"Today I caught a glimpse of how I stop myself by making this process so incredibly serious and thorough. In a way that keeps me from reaching the essence. I'm tasting something important here."
That's what the glimpses feel like. Brief. Subtle. But unmistakable.
And then something shifts.
The time between catching the control and stepping out of it gets shorter. From days to hours. From hours to minutes. Until one day you notice it happening in real time — and you stay instead of running.
And then something unexpected happens.
Life starts feeling easier. Things start unfolding. And that — the receiving, the ease, the flow — becomes its own U-Moment. A deeper one. Because the surrender required to actually receive what you want is bigger than anything that came before it.
That's when the real homecoming begins.
You're accompanied through all of it. Weekly calls. Weekly guidance. And daily check-ins with me and Joan — so that when a U-Moment happens on a Tuesday afternoon, you're not navigating it alone.
And life then life can begin to unfold from you rather than being forced by you.
What The Miracle Year Actually Is
In the beginning it can feel confusing.
That's why we take it slow.
Gradually you start noticing how the intellectual control shows up — in everything. The way you approach a decision. The way you lie awake. The way you reach for certainty before you'll let yourself move.
At first that's frustrating. Because seeing the pattern and stepping out of it are two completely different things.
And then the glimpses start coming.
One woman wrote in our group recently:
"Today I caught a glimpse of how I stop myself by making this process so incredibly serious and thorough. In a way that keeps me from reaching the essence. I'm tasting something important here."
That's what the glimpses feel like. Brief. Subtle. But unmistakable.
And then something shifts.
The time between catching the control and stepping out of it gets shorter. From days to hours. From hours to minutes. Until one day you notice it happening in real time — and you stay instead of running.
And then something unexpected happens.
Life starts feeling easier. Things start unfolding. And that — the receiving, the ease, the flow — becomes its own U-Moment. A deeper one. Because the surrender required to actually receive what you want is bigger than anything that came before it.
That's when the real homecoming begins.
You're accompanied through all of it. Weekly calls. Weekly guidance. And daily check-ins with me and Joan — so that when a U-Moment happens on a Tuesday afternoon, you're not navigating it alone.
And life then life can begin to unfold from you rather than being forced by you.
What's included
** 3 1:1 coaching sessions
** weekly group coaching calls (90 minutes)
** weekly online trainings (15-20 minutes)
** daily check ins
What I noticed early on with my clients is that a call can feel really opening — and then two days later the Doom Loop quietly becomes the default again. And the brain will make you forget what was underneath. It's meant to keep you safe.
So it takes a while to land. Because the pattern has been the identity for so long that the nervous system just slides back in.
The daily check-ins exist to interrupt that. Early. Before the loop has fully taken hold again. They don't take long. But they change everything about how the work deepens over time.
What's included
** 3 1:1 coaching sessions
** weekly group coaching calls (90 minutes)
** weekly online trainings (15-20 minutes)
** daily check ins (to interrupt intellectual control early)
What I noticed early on with my clients is that a call can feel really opening — and then two days later the Doom Loop quietly becomes the default again. And the brain will make you forget what was underneath. It's meant to keep you safe.
So it takes a while to land. Because the pattern has been the identity for so long that the nervous system just slides back in.
The daily check-ins exist to interrupt that. Early. Before the loop has fully taken hold again.
They don't take long. But they change everything about how the work deepens over time.
What this actually feels like
"The claw in my chest has dissolved. I feel whole, rich and free on the inside. I feel like me — even if it is unfamiliar at the moment. The bubbly feeling is now in my stomach, it spreads out, up through my chest, to my neck and out into my arms. I'm very moved and emotional about this. This is home."
— Miracle Year client, two months in
What this actually feels like
"The claw in my chest has dissolved. I feel whole, rich and free on the inside. I feel like me — even if it is unfamiliar at the moment. The bubbly feeling is now in my stomach, it spreads out, up through my chest, to my neck and out into my arms. I'm very moved and emotional about this. This is home."
— Miracle Year client, two months in
The Investment
The investment for The Miracle Year is $9,000.
Payment plans are available.
The program is intentionally designed for a small group of women each year.
The Investment
The investment for The Miracle Year is $9,000.
Payment plans are available.
The program is intentionally designed for a small group of women each year.
If you felt this:
Notice what's happening right now. Maybe part of you wants to wait. To think about it a little more. To make sure you're really ready.
That's the Doom Loop. Right at the moment you're closest to the door.
The mind will tell you to stay where it's safe. But the safety it's protecting you toward is the same exhausted place you've already been. The real safety — the kind that doesn't require constant managing — that's on the other side of this conversation.
Send me a message at femke@throwittotheu.com with the subject line "Miracle Year" and let's talk. Over a cup of tea, without any agenda.
Just two women talking about what's possible for you.
femke@throwittotheu.comIf you felt this:
Notice what's happening right now. Maybe part of you wants to wait. To think about it a little more. To make sure you're really ready.
That's the Doom Loop. Right at the moment you're closest to the door.
The mind will tell you to stay where it's safe. But the safety it's protecting you toward is the same exhausted place you've already been. The real safety — the kind that doesn't require constant managing — that's on the other side of this conversation.
Send me a message at femke@throwittotheu.com with the subject line "Miracle Year" and let's talk. Over a cup of tea, without any agenda.
Just two women talking about what's possible for you.
FAQ's
Why a year?
Because the pattern you're stepping out of has been running for decades. Eight weeks gives the ego something to complete. A year gives the free-spirited self room to emerge.
What if I can't keep up?
The Miracle Year isn't something you keep up with. Learning to release the pressure to keep up is actually part of the work. Some months you go deep. Some months you simply let things land. Both are perfect.
What if I can’t make it to some of the calls?
Life happens. The container holds you through all of it — not just the weeks you show up perfectly. Showing up imperfectly is often where the most important work happens.
FAQ's
Why a year?
Because the pattern you're stepping out of has been running for decades. Eight weeks gives the ego something to complete. A year gives the free-spirited self room to emerge.
What if I can't keep up?
The Miracle Year isn't something you keep up with. Learning to release the pressure to keep up is actually part of the work. Some months you go deep. Some months you simply let things land. Both are perfect.
What if I can’t make it to some of the calls?
Life happens. The container holds you through all of it — not just the weeks you show up perfectly. Showing up imperfectly is often where the most important work happens.