Invitation to work with me
From living with a governor on your life to receiving freely and living fully.
The asshat abhors Lesson 324. (Note: Pam Grout refers to the ego as the chatty asshat)
"Like hell I will," it responds to all suggestions that it step aside and let The One Who Knows lead the way. It pitches a fit at the slightest hint at the Dude (the U) chomping at the bits to get involved in my life, to connect with me, to provide me with guidance.
The ego is very protective of that job. It lives to plan. To work things out. The ego comes up with a finite plan, a restricted process to getting from point A to point B.
It doesn't have a clue.
Here's an example. The ego wants to win the lottery. There's nothing wrong with winning the lottery, but that's a finite way to achieve abundance. The Universe is freaking infinite. It knows three bazillion ways to achieve abundance. So planning to win the lottery gives the Universe a grand total of one option.
Today, as I merely follow and not lead, I allow the Universe to haggle with the details.
-- Pam Grout - A Course In Miracles Experiment
For a long time, my mind was the only place I felt safe.
I was good at being in my head. Really good. In primary school the teacher would make me sit with my arms crossed for 30 minutes at a time, after having finished the math assignment for the day. Otherwise I would advance too fast.
At a job interview for a management traineeship with KLM I scored top 2% out of all the college level candidates in an IQ test.
And still — underneath all of it — something hummed in the background.
I don't get to have what I want. Nobody wants me.
Like the theme music of my life that never quite stopped playing.
I tried everything to turn it off. Therapy. Breathwork. Manifestation. Law of attraction. Hypnotherapy. All of it from the same place — my intellect choosing it, directing it, evaluating whether it was working.
Which meant the ego was still running the show. Just in slightly more spiritual clothing. And very adept at explaining my patterns and the reasons why.
The control never actually loosened. Because any time something felt out of my hands, my body tensed up and my mind took over. Ruminating. What-iffing. Forcing the how. Negotiating with myself.
It was exhausting.
And the most frustrating part was that the things I wanted most — to be truly seen, to receive, to feel real intimacy and connection — those terrified me more than anything I was trying to escape. So whenever I would get close to receiving it, I'd freak out.
I was hiding. Especially from the life I was trying to build.
I'm telling you this because I know that's why you're here.
You've tried so many things. And all of it came from the same place mine did.
I've found another way. For myself. And for you.
Invitation To Work With Me
From living with a governor on your life to receiving freely and living fully.
The asshat abhors Lesson 324. (Note: Pam Grout refers to the ego as the chatty asshat)
"Like hell I will," it responds to all suggestions that it step aside and let The One Who Knows lead the way. It pitches a fit at the slightest hint at the Dude (the U) chomping at the bits to get involved in my life, to connect with me, to provide me with guidance.
The ego is very protective of that job. It lives to plan. To work things out. The ego comes up with a finite plan, a restricted process to getting from point A to point B.
It doesn't have a clue.
Here's an example. The ego wants to win the lottery. There's nothing wrong with winning the lottery, but that's a finite way to achieve abundance. The Universe is freaking infinite. It knows three bazillion ways to achieve abundance. So planning to win the lottery gives the Universe a grand total of one option.
Today, as I merely follow and not lead, I allow the Universe to haggle with the details.
-- Pam Grout - A Course In Miracles Experiment
For a long time, my mind was the only place I felt safe.
I was good at being in my head. Really good. In primary school the teacher would make me sit with my arms crossed for 30 minutes at a time, after having finished the math assignment for the day. Otherwise I would advance too fast.
At a job interview for a management traineeship with KLM I scored top 2% out of all the college level candidates in an IQ test.
And still — underneath all of it — something hummed in the background.
I don't get to have what I want. Nobody wants me.
Like the theme music of my life that never quite stopped playing.
I tried everything to turn it off. Therapy. Breathwork. Manifestation. Law of attraction. Hypnotherapy. All of it from the same place — my intellect choosing it, directing it, evaluating whether it was working.
Which meant the ego was still running the show. Just in slightly more spiritual clothing. And very adept at explaining my patterns and the reasons why.
The control never actually loosened. Because any time something felt out of my hands, my body tensed up and my mind took over. Ruminating. What-iffing. Forcing the how. Negotiating with myself.
It was exhausting.
And the most frustrating part was that the things I wanted most — to be truly seen, to receive, to feel real intimacy and connection — those terrified me more than anything I was trying to escape. So whenever I would get close to receiving it, I'd freak out.
I was hiding. Especially from the life I was trying to build.
I'm telling you this because I know that's why you're here.
You've tried so many things. And all of it came from the same place mine did.
I've found another way. For myself. And for you.
Here's what changed everything for me: I had to let go of all the things I had been taught about transformation. That I was teaching my coaches about transformation.
This requires a different approach. A counter-intellectual one.
It's about stepping out of the separate self paradox: Separating yourself from the "you" who feels fundamentally separate from everything and everyone, and has been stuck between the endless loop of turning on the governor and then fighting it.
Separating yourself from the part of you who is both exhausted from the fight, and can't set it down.
Your free-spirited self already trusts. She already knows how to let go. To receive freely, and live fully.
She's been there the whole time, underneath the governor that has been keeping you "safe".
The Miracle Year is a return to her. And that return happens in the moments the intellect has been desperately trying to avoid and control. It's a year where you learn to stay in that moment long enough for your true self to emerge naturally.
Those moments are easier to stay in when someone who knows your loop is right there with you. Subtle shifts begin happening at first. Not the explosive excitement that you may expect. It's deeper than that.
My clients report they start sleeping through the night for the first time in years. Migraines that stop coming. Pain in the shoulder and arms that disappears. There's a calmness, a groundedness in the body. The mind quietens.
And then, playfulness returns. Creativity emerges. Intuition returns. Yeses and no's stop feeling loaded. You feel nudged to do things, even when they don't fully make sense yet.
And life begins unfolding from you rather than being forced by you.
Here's what changed everything for me: I had to let go of all the things I had been taught about transformation. That I was teaching my coaches about transformation.
This requires a different approach. A counter-intellectual one.
It's about stepping out of the separate self paradox: Separating yourself from the "you" who feels fundamentally separate from everything and everyone, and has been stuck between the endless loop of turning on the governor and then fighting it.
Separating yourself from the part of you who is both exhausted from the fight, and can't set it down.
Your free-spirited self already trusts. She already knows how to let go. To receive freely, and live fully.
She's been there the whole time, underneath the governor that has been keeping you "safe".
The Miracle Year is a return to her. And that return happens in the moments the intellect has been desperately trying to avoid and control. It's a year where you learn to stay in that moment long enough for your true self to emerge naturally.
Those moments are easier to stay in when someone who knows your loop is right there with you. Subtle shifts begin happening at first. Not the explosive excitement that you may expect. It's deeper than that.
My clients report they start sleeping through the night for the first time in years. Migraines that stop coming. Pain in the shoulder and arms that disappears. There's a calmness, a groundedness in the body. The mind quietens.
And then, playfulness returns. Creativity emerges. Intuition returns. Yeses and no's stop feeling loaded. You feel nudged to do things, even when they don't fully make sense yet.
And life begins unfolding from you rather than being forced by you.
How The Miracle Year Progresses
In the beginning it can feel confusing. The governor intensifies.
That's why we take it slow.
Gradually you start noticing how the intellectual control shows up — in everything. The way you approach a decision. The way you lie awake. The way you reach for certainty before you'll let yourself move.
At first that's frustrating. Because seeing the pattern and stepping out of it are two completely different things.
And then the glimpses start coming.
One woman wrote in our group recently:
"Today I caught a glimpse of how I stop myself by making this process so incredibly serious and thorough. In a way that keeps me from reaching the essence. I'm tasting something important here."
That's what the glimpses feel like. Brief. Subtle. But also unmistakable.
And then something shifts.
The time between catching the control and stepping out of it gets shorter. From days to hours. From hours to minutes. Until one day you notice it happening in real time, and you stay instead of running.
And then something unexpected happens.
Life starts feeling easier. Things start unfolding. And that — the receiving, the ease, the flow — is a deeper test of how well you can rest in the unknown, in the moment something becomes beyond your control. Because the surrender required to actually receive what you want is bigger than anything that came before it.
That's when the real homecoming begins.
You're guided through all of it. Weekly calls. Weekly guidance. And daily check-ins with me and Joan — so that when something happens on a Tuesday afternoon, you're not navigating it alone.
And then life can begin to unfold from you rather than being forced by you.
How The Miracle Year Progresses
In the beginning it can feel confusing. The governor intensifies.
That's why we take it slow.
Gradually you start noticing how the intellectual control shows up — in everything. The way you approach a decision. The way you lie awake. The way you reach for certainty before you'll let yourself move.
At first that's frustrating. Because seeing the pattern and stepping out of it are two completely different things.
And then the glimpses start coming.
One woman wrote in our group recently:
"Today I caught a glimpse of how I stop myself by making this process so incredibly serious and thorough. In a way that keeps me from reaching the essence. I'm tasting something important here."
That's what the glimpses feel like. Brief. Subtle. But also unmistakable.
And then something shifts.
The time between catching the control and stepping out of it gets shorter. From days to hours. From hours to minutes. Until one day you notice it happening in real time, and you stay instead of running.
And then something unexpected happens.
Life starts feeling easier. Things start unfolding. And that — the receiving, the ease, the flow — is a deeper test of how well you can rest in the unknown, in the moment something becomes beyond your control. Because the surrender required to actually receive what you want is bigger than anything that came before it.
That's when the real homecoming begins.
You're guided through all of it. Weekly calls. Weekly guidance. And daily check-ins with me and Joan — so that when something happens on a Tuesday afternoon, you're not navigating it alone.
And then life can begin to unfold from you rather than being forced by you.
What's included
** 3 1:1 coaching sessions
** weekly group coaching calls (90 minutes)
** weekly online trainings (15-20 minutes)
** daily check ins
What I noticed early on with my clients is that a call can feel really enlightening and you can truly feel a shift, and then two days later the governor becomes the default again. And the brain will make you forget what was underneath. It's meant to keep you safe.
So it takes a while to land. It takes repetition. Because the pattern has been the identity for so long that the nervous system just slides back in.
The daily check-ins exist to interrupt that. Early. Before the loop has fully taken hold again. They don't require a lot from you. But they change everything about how embodied the work becomes over time.
What's included
** 3 1:1 coaching sessions
** weekly group coaching calls (90 minutes)
** weekly online trainings (15-20 minutes)
** daily check ins
What I noticed early on with my clients is that a call can feel really enlightening and you can truly feel a shift, and then two days later the governor becomes the default again. And the brain will make you forget what was underneath. It's meant to keep you safe.
So it takes a while to land. It takes repetition. Because the pattern has been the identity for so long that the nervous system just slides back in.
The daily check-ins exist to interrupt that. Early. Before the loop has fully taken hold again. They don't require a lot from you. But they change everything about how embodied the work becomes over time.
What this actually feels like
"The claw in my chest has dissolved. I feel whole, rich and free on the inside. I feel like me — even if it is unfamiliar at the moment. The bubbly feeling is now in my stomach, it spreads out, up through my chest, to my neck and out into my arms. I'm very moved and emotional about this. This is home."
— Miracle Year client, two months in
What this actually feels like
"The claw in my chest has dissolved. I feel whole, rich and free on the inside. I feel like me — even if it is unfamiliar at the moment. The bubbly feeling is now in my stomach, it spreads out, up through my chest, to my neck and out into my arms. I'm very moved and emotional about this. This is home."
— Miracle Year client, two months in
The Investment
The investment for The Miracle Year is $9,000.
Payment plans are available.
The program is intentionally designed for a small group of women each year.
The Investment
The investment for The Miracle Year is $9,000.
Payment plans are available.
The program is intentionally designed for a small group of women each year.
If this resonates:
Send me a message at femke@throwittotheu.com with the subject line "Miracle Year".
We'll connect and explore whether this is the right fit for you. Over a cup of tea, without any agenda.
You don’t need to be fully ready. You don’t need to have it figured out.
Just bring curiosity about what changes when you’re no longer managing everything in the same way.
If that feels aligned, send the message. It takes about 30 seconds, and I’ll reply so we can take it from there.
If this resonates:
Send me a message at femke@throwittotheu.com with the subject line "Miracle Year".
We'll connect and explore whether this is the right fit for you. Over a cup of tea, without any agenda.
You don’t need to be fully ready. You don’t need to have it figured out.
Just bring curiosity about what changes when you’re no longer managing everything in the same way.
If that feels aligned, send the message. It takes about 30 seconds, and I’ll reply so we can take it from there.
FAQ's
Why a year?
Because the pattern you're stepping out of has been running for decades. Eight weeks gives the ego something to complete. A year gives the free-spirited self room to emerge.
What if I can't keep up?
The Miracle Year isn't something you keep up with. Learning to release the pressure to keep up is actually part of the work. Some months you go deep. Some months you simply let things land. Both are perfect.
What if I can’t make it to some of the calls?
Life happens. The container holds you through all of it — not just the weeks you show up perfectly. Showing up imperfectly is often where the most important work happens.
FAQ's
Why a year?
Because the pattern you're stepping out of has been running for decades. Eight weeks gives the ego something to complete. A year gives the free-spirited self room to emerge.
What if I can't keep up?
The Miracle Year isn't something you keep up with. Learning to release the pressure to keep up is actually part of the work. Some months you go deep. Some months you simply let things land. Both are perfect.
What if I can’t make it to some of the calls?
Life happens. The container holds you through all of it — not just the weeks you show up perfectly. Showing up imperfectly is often where the most important work happens.