How To Really Free Yourself From Your Past

"I cannot stop bad things from happening."

"It’s not that I haven’t tried for most of my life, to stop bad things from happening. But the truth is, I can’t. I'm powerless, helpless."

It was a mild afternoon in May. My friend and I were walking home from school. We were giggling about something, I don't remember what. What I do remember, is feeling carefree.

Not a care in the world.

That's when the ambulance comes around the corner. It was one of those low slung ones, with only half of the windows frosted. Being curious 9-year-olds, we peeked inside.

"That looks like my dad," I said jokingly.

Of course, it couldn't have been my dad. He's invincible.

A worldview that shattered in a matter of seconds, when my mom drove around the corner, following the ambulance.

That afternoon was the longest afternoon in the history of afternoons. I remember feeling my brother's worry. He was two years older and more aware.

I don't remember much of what happens next and in what order, or when we were told -- at the hospital -- that our dad was going to die.

The doctor had to leave the room when the news was dropped on us.

We couldn't.

Not physically, at least.

But I still left.

The 9 year old me so desperately wanted to deny the devastating truth. I just had to let it happen. There was nothing I could do about it.

So I pretended that none of it was happening. I would tell me mom what we would do after dad died, as if it wasn't an earth shattering event for a little daddy's girl.

I steeled myself against the devastation.

Carefreeness was now tightly connected to heartbreak and loss. For most of my life, I held my breath, tightened my muscles, and clenched my jaw. I analyzing everything, got hyper-independent.

Trying to force outcomes, because I couldn't rely on anyone else. Especially not the Universe.

All of this in an effort to stop bad things from happening.

The truth is: I can’t.

It's simply a part of life.

The only thing I really managed to stop from happening, was life itself.

Living with a governor on stops the flow.

To quote Benjamin Hoff in The Tao Of Pooh: "According to Lao-tse, the more man interfered with the natural balance produced and governed by the universal laws, the further away the harmony retreated into the distance. The more forcing, the more trouble."

Over the course of my coaching career I went through therapy, lots of high quality and in depth coaching, practiced meditation, breath work, hypnotherapy, etc. I addressed the trauma.

And yet, NONE of it really helped me release this desire for control.

It felt really frustrating, actually. To talk to my inner child, give her resources, and yet she'd inevitably go back to her old ways. I worked on eliminating core beliefs. It would provide relief for a while, until I'd get triggered by something.

During meditations I'd get to a point where I relaxed and entered the nothingness. The moment that happened, my body contracted so hard, it felt like my neck was in a vice. I stuck with it, as that's what "they" tell you to do.

That was my own personal experience. Meantime, as a coach trainer, I listened to thousands of coaching sessions over time, many people sharing similar experiences.

As someone who loves to geek out AND found her "solace" in over-analyzing, pattern detection is my jam; I started noticing that some of the tools we use actually have the opposite effect of what we're looking for: they provide MORE evidence for why we respond the way we do, not less.

It wasn't until I started to explore what it takes to TRUST, to let go of control, that I finally figured out how this lack of trust really works in the body. And it is far more than just releasing subconscious beliefs or nervous system regulation.

Looking back, everything I did, I did in an effort to fix something. A subconscious desire to control.

That's why some things brought temporary relief; My ego felt relief. It felt in control when it had experienced yet another "breakthrough" or insight.

If you are intellectually strong and at the same time are highly sensitive, and you've tried all kinds of different things to free yourself from your past, then I guarantee you that you, too, struggle with this subconscious desire to control.

It's your key to freedom.

For some, this desire gets triggered because the feel money is out of their hand, for others it's intimacy and closeness, receiving, setting boundaries, etc.
When the stakes feel higher, that sense of "this is out of my hands" will trigger a stronger response.

But it's not just these triggers that are the problem. It's the consciousness from which you have been trying to break free, that keeps you stuck!

I can tell you from personal experience, that when you transcend that consciousness, everything relaxes. The kind of relaxation that you feel deep in your bones. The absence of cognition. The intuition that shines through and the ease with which solutions land at your doorstep.

It's fun, and it feels free.

This is what you get to experience through my new program "The Miracle Year".

If you recognize yourself in what I've shared and your intellect is getting in the way of living free, then check out this special invitation I have for you to join my program: throwittotheu.com/exclusive-access-to-femke

Love,

Femke - Your Miracle Consciousness Guide